About 30 years ago a mate named Stuie and I would get dressed up in our finest going out gear and hit the pubs and clubs on a Friday and Saturday night. Of course we told ourselves that we were out for a good time, in reality we were out to impress the fairer sex. To put it bluntly we were trying to “snag a chick” or more hopefully find the lady of our dreams.
Now the girls would tell me that Stuie was pretty easy on the eye so I thought I had chosen a pretty good wingman. We thought we had all the moves covered and we had no trouble convincing girls to let us buy them drinks all night long. This was however where it ended.
One Saturday night we were getting ready to hit the town when my sister who in her day had she not been my sister would have fit very nicely into our target market asked us how we had been going. So when I told her how fantastically we had been going and girls were falling over themselves to go out with us she new straight up that I was lying.
She saw through us in a flash. She said “come on guys tell the truth, your not going to well are you.”
She told us we needed “presence”.
Stuie and I weren’t really sure what she was talking about, we thought maybe she was referring to the chocolate variety or the type you get from the florist. Unfortunately for us it wasn’t for some time that it finally clicked. Thirty years later and both Stuie and I very happily married we often have a laugh about how much money we wasted on drinks and cloths when all we really needed was presence.
So what is “presence” and how do you get it? The dictionary says stuff like “the ability to project a sense of ease, poise, or self-assurance”, “the quality or manner of a person’s bearing before an audience” and “of noteworthy appearance or compelling personality” So all that does make sense and Stuie and I could see why the girls go for blokes with presence, but how do you get it? I’m still not sure.
Lately I have been doing a bit of blog hopping and I noticed that every now and then you would get onto a blog that had a compelling nature to it. One that you just cant help but read, you go from post to post to post, its an easy read and your just taking in all this information that you know is going to help you get further down the IM track. I realised that it was the bloggers “presence” that made the read so compelling. Something intangible, not one thing, many things, but nothing you could really put you finger on or copy.
I am pretty sure if you are a budding blogger the best thing that you can do is to seek out these bloggers with presence and involve your self in their blogs and in time, maybe not over night it will happen. You will be down the track looking back and you will realise that you have acquired that intangible quality, that thing that makes your blog a great read. Writer presence. The more you hang out in a particular environment the more you believe you belong and the more confidence you gain. Before you know it you are projecting “a sense of ease, poise and self assurance” that makes others think your a great read too.
Cheers
Dave
You a make a good point here Dave as I was thinking that as well because trust you me I have been doing a lot of blog hopping and still continue to this day because I have learned so much and have built up my own blogging community so to speak with the blogs that I comment often on.
Presence is important to have as you want to be viewed as someone that has good content and just naturally draw people in. It is an art that we do need to craft but like you said in time, if you work at it, then it will happen.
Anna
Anna Haller´s last blog ..Are you alone
Hello Dave,
Saw your post at MWA 3.0 forum and thought I’d stop by and say hello.
What a nice looking blog you have going here.
Stop by and say hello and I hope to work with you soon!
Douglas J Gregory
Dave:
This is an interesting post. I totally agree with you about finding your presence. I have read many a blogs through blog hopping and when I find one that grabs me, I do find myself staying on that sight longer than usual and I definitely sign up for their RSS feed so I can read future posts. It is frustrating when I find a really great blog and they do not offer an RSS feed. You see I use Bloglines as my RSS reader so I can see when new content is posted on different blogs.
I want to change my blog theme so it really projects professionalism and authority. Hopefully I can achieve this.
- Rick
Rick Byrd´s last blog ..5 Ways to Generate Quality Blog Content
Hey Dave aka Chick Snagger,
Was that your nickname then???
I think presence is very important, as if connecting with your readers, I enjoyed your blog post and the “hidden” message within.
Very well written and I found it interesting and a little humorous too!
Success by association is very true, hang about authority blogs, leave your mark and you will soon be noticed.
Sally
Sally Neill´s last blog ..Is Social Media FAB or a FAD
Hi Sally
Unfortunately no it wasn’t “Chick Snagger” it was something far more derogatory!
Dave
Hi Dave,
I think you are well on your way to having presence.
I enjoyed reading your article and have read a few of your others too now instead of doing things on my to-do list!
Keep up the great work
Cheers
Alina
Alina Hanel´s last blog ..Blogging- To be Yourself or Fake it ’til you make it
hey Dave
Very good post i enjoyed reading it im doing alot of blog hopping myself and i do come across alot of great blogs with fantastic content keep up the good work talk soon
ps your blog is looking great
thanks
Davy
G’day mate,
Good to find your blog Dave and yes I’m an Aussie.
Actually I married a wonderful Thai lady many years ago and together with our 2 teenage daughters we live in a remote Thai village about 30 kms from the Cambodian and Laos borders…not exactly on the tourist track mate!
A really interesting post Dave and I have had the same reactions as you. Oil rig hopping is something I am now doing a lot more of and as such I am always amazed at the huge range of talent we have in our MWA3.0 group.
There have been times when I have visited a blog to comment on a particular post only to find myself still there after an hour – simply blown away with not just all the techie bells and whistles that I am so poor at doing, but the “look and feel” of the place! You called it “presence” and that hits the nail right on the head.
Great post mate…well done!
Peter Beckenham´s last blog ..My First Product Creation…This is My Plan-
Hey Dave,
Very good points. So easy to get in to just writing without adding any ‘personality’. As you say, visit the top blogs, learn from the best and ‘presence’ will come.
Well, hopefully it will do for me eventually anyway.
Regards
Simon
Hello Dave,
You have just taken me back about 20 years. I think every red blooded male aged 18-30 has been put “Chick Snagging”.
By the way, you have presence now.
(shame it wasn’t back then eh)
Pete
Pete Carr´s last blog ..Underground Traffic Blueprint
hey Dave
you’re so right about presence and i guess you must have it because i’ve just enjoyed reading your blog
sadly i can identify with this post – at least we can still remember 30 years back!!
enjoy the journey forward
allan
Allan *OzzyAce* Riley´s last blog ..Building a List
Dave,
I think you defined presence very well. We just need to stick around and absorb it from those who have it.
“The more you hang out in a particular environment the more you believe you belong and the more confidence you gain. Before you know it you are projecting “a sense of ease, poise and self assurance” that makes others think your a great read too.”
Cheryl
Hi Dave
Great post and yes presence is important. I can relate to this story because years ago that is exactly what happened on a Saturday night but I love the way you have blended your story and internet marketing together.
A little about me – My name is Sue McDonald and I am a student of Mark Terrell and I am actually going through the course a second time – by invitation. I love it and know if I do all he says, I will be successful. I am Australian but the US is my second home as I have family there and visit quite often. This is why I started Internet Marketing so I can travel whenever I want and have the money to do what I want.
Well I hope you are doing well and you become very successful. I would love you to come visit my blog and leave a comment.
Kind regards
Sue
Sue McDonald´s last blog ..Week 3 of the Newbies Course
Hey Dave
I have just come for a visit to your site. How are you going?
Yes it’s Mark and I am following my students as they post on other peoples blogs. They don’t know that I am always checking to see they are getting results. I am passionate about helping them achieve and then they are able to make some money online exactly the same as I am doing. It is not really difficult as long as they are willing to put in the effort.
Always pleasing if I can see some of my students have posted comments. Keep up the good work.
Regards
Mark
Mark * Coaching Newbies* Terrell´s last blog ..Coaching Newbies 20 Launch
Hi Dave,
I have also been visiting a lot of blogs lately and I know exactly what you’re talking about. I have to ask myself “why” I bookmark the sites I do.
Sometimes it’s the amazing content, sometimes the nature of the conversation.
I only hope I can bring my own special “presence” to my blog as I go along this journey.
Thanks for your thoughts,
Lesley
Lesley “Wes” Klatt´s last blog ..Week 3- Generating Traffic
Hey, Dave… Your blog is a good read, leaving me with the impression that I want to hear more of what you will be saying in future posts. I am only just getting started: just finished doing the introduction thing with “New Kid on the Block” and if I can leave an impression only half of what you put out in yours, I will be satisfied.
Good touching base with you,
Bobby Earle
Hi Dave,
I am a student of Mark Terrell’s Coaching Newbies and this is what I am learning blog hopping and finding presence, I am so glad to see this post it only confirms what I am being taught. I am so glad you have found your presence, and thank you for this post, I would love for you to come by and check my blog out when you have time.
Karen